Yesterday as I put on my bathing suit for the first time this season I cried a little. I am so close to a goal I never thought possible and it is a huge accomplishment for me. I have never stuck to anything, let alone a diet.. I don't like to be uncomfortable. I don't like to feel deprived. and I don't like to feel like I am not enjoying life, so for that woman on the left to become the woman on the right, chokes me up. And that photo ...you see there isn't even me at my heaviest of 190lbs on a 4' 11.5" frame and it was all flab.
That woman on the left was depressed, overweight and didn't see any way out of her misery. I had zero self esteem, zero self worth, I was negative, self pitying and I never thought I could be any different. I was a heavy drinker and a smoker just going through the motions of life instead of living. I went from that to a confident (most of the time) optimist, full of love and life. I am adventurist now, I love people (most of the time..lol) and I love life. I quit smoking and I will be 2 years sober in a week, giving up smoking and getting sober were the two things I never thought would happen for me. I believe in myself again and even when I fall I know that it doesn't make me worthless, it makes me human. To be in this place, loving the skin I'm in, with no thoughts of limitations for my abilities and my life is so invigorating. I spent $140 to get the 21 Day Fix when I started this journey and honestly it was a lot to me too. But what I got back, what I got in return is far more valuable. I found me, the me that I thought about being as a little girl growing up in the inner city of Philadelphia... from the hood y'all. I became a woman I can be proud of, a mother I can be proud of and I no longer dread aging. I plan on continuing to do it with grace. Love for yourself is timeless and it shows from the inside out. I am absolutely in love with the woman I am, the woman I am becoming and the life I have ahead of me. I found the love of my life...ME.
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