Wednesday, December 6, 2017


Against everything that I know as someone with an Exercise Science education and experience, I weigh myself just about everyday. Yes.... I know this behavior is ridiculous but I do it anyway. So on a morning like this one when I am reminded of why this is such a bad practice when the scale doesn't move. I have to remember to look at the whole picture. Not just the scale.

So I remembered that as I took my clothes off this morning and looked at  my reflection in the mirror; I noticed my waist is smaller, I am getting more of an hour glass shape back. I noticed the fat on my arms is less visible and I noticed that I am stronger.

These are key things to acknowledge because a scale is not a good measure of progress. It is simply one piece of I have said before.

So instead of feeling stuck today or defeated. I will remember that I am not just losing fat, I am replacing it with muscle. Which is much denser and completely reshapes the body in a good way. So keep moving forward, crush your workout and eat clean, as today is another day to harness your inner badass :)

Friday, December 1, 2017

Happy December

Can you believe it is December? Holy cow, it is so exciting. I love the holiday season and it sadly is going to go by so quickly. Before you know it, it will be the new year. I have decided it is time for me to take my fitness to the next level. Haha! I feel like I am always deciding that. First I am going to start the year off with my very first marathon. I am so nervous, yet excited about that. Then I am planning on doing the savage race in March and God willing my second figure show in California in April. I am so crazy, already planning my 2018 goals with more than 30 days left in the year.

But that makes me wonder....have you thought about what you want to achieve for 2018? Have you thought about who you want to become or how you want to challenge yourself? If you haven't, you better start.....or you'll be in the very same place this time next year. Food for thought. ;)

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

So Miami Marathon training ensues

Today was a good run, I am still very early on in my training, about a week and a half in. I took a new route and ran part of the GA 400 Path so it was a little hillier but it was good. 
But during my run I had this thought like "why are you even doing this". Isn't that crazy how still I get that self sabotaging voice in my head?
It made me think of what pastor Franklin said.... that the voice of the two chains.."fear and doubt" are from the hold you back from the life that God has in store for you. 
I couldn't imagine if I was still living that way. The more than 10 years that I was bound by alcoholism was largely due to the fact that I was afraid of what life would be like sober. I was afraid I wouldn't stay sober. I feared failure. 
But somehow God sent into my life the most amazing group of fit women I have ever met. They inspired me to get healthy. I was so amazed at how wonderful and genuinely happy they were that I wanted to live the life they lived. 
So even in that fear I took the leap of faith and got Sober, so I could pay forward what they so freely had given me. Could you imagine if I was still letting the "what ifs" hold me back....where I could be? Still drunk probably, if not dead. 
So I dispelled that thought, continued my run and remembered pastors closing words. The doors to your destiny are already unlocked. You just need to get up and take that leap of faith. So yep......I kept running. Because fear and doubt no longer have a place in my life. My job is to keep moving by I did.......and I will.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

It's getting better

As I sit on my balcony with my coffee this morning....barely washed face, reading my devotional, thinking, meditating/praying.
I was thinking I'm so happy I got pregnant with my little Brody Bean. I can't explain why I feel that way as I still look at other people and their with envy.
I know he doesn't have to live life as a sick maybe that's why I'm ok.

Honestly, I don't have to understand Gods plan. At least that's what my devotional brought up in me. I just have to trust him.
"Heavenly Father, I trust You with what I’ll start and stop. I trust You with where I’ll stay and go. I trust You enough to give my life to serve and connect to people. And I trust You are present with purpose in the midst of my life’s storms. Thank You for being with me, guiding my steps, and giving me divine direction". Amen.
That's the prayer from my devotional. I like it.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Free Lose the waist and beef up the cakes fitness group

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Thursday, October 26, 2017

Getting better

I am beginning to feel a little more like myself. I feel a little lighter, like the gloom is lifting. I managed to actually feel genuine happiness from time to time today. But then I see other people with their babies or toddlers and I am green with envy. At that very moment I am overcome with absolute certainty that I am going to try again in December. Then a little sad as I wonder is that the right thing to do. 

I mean, just because I want another baby with every fiber of my being does not mean I should try again. I keep praying, asking God for guidance, a sign of his approval or not and I hear nothing. I don't feel his presence and I don't know what to do. All I know is I want more than anything to try to get pregnant in December and January, so I guess I'll just keep praying. Until then, I continue to work on healing and leaning into God and my husband to get us both through this difficult time. I am working out and cleaning my diet back up in an effort to get my body conception ready. I even continue to take my prenatal vitamins. Now......I just wait on God <3

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Now what????

Today is the first day since delivering my Brody-Grey at 12 weeks and 3 days. The picture below has been altered but this is what my sweet little prince looked like. He was so perfect, tiny and peaceful. Today my feelings are indescribable, I want to say I feel empty but I really don't. I want to say I feel lost and lonely but I don't feel that way either. I feel like I will miss what could have been. At this point in my pregnancy I had already begun to envision what my little guy would look like.

How much fun he would have been as a toddler and a football player and track star like his brother, father and uncles later on in his teen years. I could not wait to be with him. I would wake up everyday and check my pregnancy apps to find out what new and exciting things I had to look forward to or stay away from this time around. Things have changed so drastically since the last time I had a baby.... 17 years ago....sheeesh!!! This was a whole new adventure that I had begun to embrace and love. But this morning was different. I woke up knowing that it wasn't another day that I get to check off of 250 some odd days of pregnancy. Instead my Brody was gone. But I don't feel empty, I am sad and I wish he was still growing inside of me....but he is not. He is now my little Angel baby, watching over me, instead of me watching over him.