Tuesday, November 7, 2017

So Miami Marathon training ensues

Today was a good run, I am still very early on in my training, about a week and a half in. I took a new route and ran part of the GA 400 Path so it was a little hillier but it was good. 
But during my run I had this thought like "why are you even doing this". Isn't that crazy how still I get that self sabotaging voice in my head?
It made me think of what pastor Franklin said.... that the voice of the two chains.."fear and doubt" are from the enemy.....to hold you back from the life that God has in store for you. 
I couldn't imagine if I was still living that way. The more than 10 years that I was bound by alcoholism was largely due to the fact that I was afraid of what life would be like sober. I was afraid I wouldn't stay sober. I feared failure. 
But somehow God sent into my life the most amazing group of fit women I have ever met. They inspired me to get healthy. I was so amazed at how wonderful and genuinely happy they were that I wanted to live the life they lived. 
So even in that fear I took the leap of faith and got Sober, so I could pay forward what they so freely had given me. Could you imagine if I was still letting the "what ifs" hold me back....where I could be? Still drunk probably, if not dead. 
So I dispelled that thought, continued my run and remembered pastors closing words. The doors to your destiny are already unlocked. You just need to get up and take that leap of faith. So yep......I kept running. Because fear and doubt no longer have a place in my life. My job is to keep moving by faith.....so I did.......and I will.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

It's getting better

As I sit on my balcony with my coffee this morning....barely washed face, reading my devotional, thinking, meditating/praying.
I was thinking I'm so happy I got pregnant with my little Brody Bean. I can't explain why I feel that way as I still look at other people and their babies...green with envy.
I know he doesn't have to live life as a sick boy....so maybe that's why I'm ok.

Honestly, I don't have to understand Gods plan. At least that's what my devotional brought up in me. I just have to trust him.
"Heavenly Father, I trust You with what I’ll start and stop. I trust You with where I’ll stay and go. I trust You enough to give my life to serve and connect to people. And I trust You are present with purpose in the midst of my life’s storms. Thank You for being with me, guiding my steps, and giving me divine direction". Amen.
That's the prayer from my devotional. I like it.