Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Free Lose the waist and beef up the cakes fitness group

How about 7 days of losing your waist and beefing up those cakes? I'm talking about a FREE week long group with focused workouts designed to build your butt and shred out your abs at the same time. With the proper nutrition to make it all happen. Shoot me an email at Thompsonphyl1975@gmail.com to grab your spot. Hurry, I only have 10 spots left and we start November 6th.

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Getting better

I am beginning to feel a little more like myself. I feel a little lighter, like the gloom is lifting. I managed to actually feel genuine happiness from time to time today. But then I see other people with their babies or toddlers and I am green with envy. At that very moment I am overcome with absolute certainty that I am going to try again in December. Then a little sad as I wonder is that the right thing to do. 

I mean, just because I want another baby with every fiber of my being does not mean I should try again. I keep praying, asking God for guidance, a sign of his approval or not and I hear nothing. I don't feel his presence and I don't know what to do. All I know is I want more than anything to try to get pregnant in December and January, so I guess I'll just keep praying. Until then, I continue to work on healing and leaning into God and my husband to get us both through this difficult time. I am working out and cleaning my diet back up in an effort to get my body conception ready. I even continue to take my prenatal vitamins. Now......I just wait on God <3

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Now what????

Today is the first day since delivering my Brody-Grey at 12 weeks and 3 days. The picture below has been altered but this is what my sweet little prince looked like. He was so perfect, tiny and peaceful. Today my feelings are indescribable, I want to say I feel empty but I really don't. I want to say I feel lost and lonely but I don't feel that way either. I feel like I will miss what could have been. At this point in my pregnancy I had already begun to envision what my little guy would look like.

How much fun he would have been as a toddler and a football player and track star like his brother, father and uncles later on in his teen years. I could not wait to be with him. I would wake up everyday and check my pregnancy apps to find out what new and exciting things I had to look forward to or stay away from this time around. Things have changed so drastically since the last time I had a baby.... 17 years ago....sheeesh!!! This was a whole new adventure that I had begun to embrace and love. But this morning was different. I woke up knowing that it wasn't another day that I get to check off of 250 some odd days of pregnancy. Instead my Brody was gone. But I don't feel empty, I am sad and I wish he was still growing inside of me....but he is not. He is now my little Angel baby, watching over me, instead of me watching over him.

Monday, October 23, 2017

Brody Grey

Last night I found out that my babys' heart has stopped. My water broke a little later on in the evening and today I am bleeding and contracting as my body prepares to pass him. I think I have made peace with this whole ordeal. Yes I am sad and disheartened but this is the risk you take when you get pregnant at my age. With that being said, I wouldn't trade the time I spent with my little Brody-Grey for the world.

I got to feel his little flutters, I saw him flip around and ...wave on an ultrasound and heard his beautiful heart beat more than once. The simple fact is this was meant to end this way. With the few years of science background I have and after speaking with my doctors I understand that sometimes when there is a chromosomal abnormality that is incompatible with life, it simply ends this way.
I thank you all for your support, love, thoughts and prayers. It has meant the world to me and my husband. I really don't feel as sad as I thought I would. To be honest I am ready to workout. I just want to throw myself into a program and honor my little baby the way I know best.....by taking care of myself.
-We will always love you Brody-Grey

Friday, October 20, 2017

pina colada Shakeology

 I treated myself to a pina colada shake 😋

Pina colada Shakeology
1 packet of vanilla shakeo...
1 cup of fresh pineapple
1 cup of coconut milk
1/2 cup of ice
Blend and enjoy
Use less liquid to make thicker like a frosty😋
Fun Fact about Shakeology
It matches the best prenatal vitamins on the market. The only thing I supplement is folate to meet my pregnancy needs

Thursday, October 19, 2017

I'm in a tailspin

It's been a while since I have blogged. My life has been in a tailspin since I found out I was pregnant and now I've found out something may be wrong with the baby and that we should prepare ourselves for fetal demise. I had already given him a name....Brody-Grey, where do you go from there? I feel like I've done everything I was supposed to do..... ya know? I eat right for the most part, I workout, I don't drink or smoke. The only thing I have to our disadvantage are our ages. My husband and I age of advanced parental age ,but that shouldn't matter too much right? There are tons of people that have children later in life.

I keep praying that they are wrong, I keep praying that God gives me this....this one simple request....one more healthy child. My poor husband thinks it's his fault because he has been constantly worried that something would be wrong and now it very well may be. Then I'm thinking " I knew I was pushing my luck" we have 4 healthy children we should have left well enough alone.

Monday we see a perinatal specialist to have a Chorionic Villus Sampling done to tell us definitively if something is wrong with little Brody-Grey. It takes two weeks for the results to come back. What am I supposed to do for those two weeks? I hate this, I'm not even enjoying my pregnancy anymore and I am starting to feel flutters.