My love affair with running

Mesa, Arizona

I went for a run today in Papago Park. I wanted to go for a hike but I was told not to go alone. So as with all of my other runs this one started off slow and a little uncomfortable. Especially since I am not as conditioned as it is too cold for me to run back home. The first 3 miles are literally my warm up..lol It takes that long for my bones and joints to warm up and for my ankle to loosen up. The second three miles are where I get my stride, my breathing slows and I find my pace. The last three are heaven, I am warm and in the zone. I breathe with ease, my stride is longer and lighter, I feel no discomfort. I am in my thoughts and carried away by my music. I push myself to run faster, I push myself to run longer and my music fuels my inner passion to be better with every passing step. I am in love, I am at ease, I feel free and empowered.....I feel amazing and I feel no pain. In fact I feel better than ever, I feel stronger than ever, I feel young, athletic and like I can literally DO anything.

Oh and this scenery is just an added bonus, as I almost don't even engage in my surroundings. Running is the perfect sport for an insecure, narcissist... I am not competing with anyone other than myself and the sheer joy of what I am doing makes me feel unstoppable. At some points in my run I want to cry because this is the person I have always wanted to be. But because of years of abusing my body and taking it for granted the aftermath of this run...no matter how great it is will leave me with hurting knees and a swollen ankle. Hindering me from doing it again for a few days...reminding me of the years I have lost. The years I could have been doing this, the years that I shaved off of my running life by breaking my ankle in a drunken stooper...the races I could have run, the distances I could have covered, the youth that I squandered...all a metaphor or symbolism if you will, of the things I could have done with my life.

 And then I think.....Oh well.....there's nothing I can do about the past. But I can run as hard and as fast as I can,  for as many years as my old knees and joints will allow. I can take that inner strength these runs bring up inside me to move my life and passions in a direction that will continue to change my life for the better. It only took me 41 years to fall in love with running, but that does not change how much I love it, it only dictates how often I get to do it. I apply that to other areas of my life, it doesn't matter how long it takes me to get there, what matters is I know that I still can....that is what my love affair with running has taught me. I can do anything because I am a fucking beast :)