The things that hold us back.

Happy Friday, you know what I was just thinking? Of course you don't, so I'm gonna tell ya...lol. I was thinking about the things that hold us back. This morning as I weighed myself and noticed how much closer I am to my goals.  I started to think about getting there; what happens when I get there? what happens after I get there? what happens if I lose focus before I get there?  Seeing more of my success this morning evoked feelings of fear. Isn't that strange?  

 I've known for a while that although I was miserable being heavier and eating crap, there's a certain level of comfort there.  In my misery was familiarity, I knew what to expect. But this is not familiar. I don't know what it's like getting here and to continue moving forward is unchartered territory. I don't know what to expect. I don't know what it's gonna be like and that's a little scary...even though I know I want it. 

Those feelings alone: the fear, the uncertainty can be all it takes to send you into a tailspin and ruin all your hard work.  i'm going to be completely transparent right now....I'm a little scared. I'm scared of "what if I fail" and "what if it's not enough"? 

Enough of what I don't really know.  I think. I'm thinking it might be what if it's not enough to make me happy. To make me feel whole or complete. But you see that's how this journey goes. Weight-loss is way more than about what your putting into your mouth and how often you move your body. A lot of times it's deeper issues. Not feeling worthy or capable. Now while I don't completely understand all of the feelings I'm having right now, what's important is that I recognize it, do my best to work through it and channel it into energy to fuel my workouts. That's  all I really can do. As much as I'm afraid, going backward just isn't an option.  Moving forward, even if it's one small step at a time.💛. Happy Friday