Spousal Support

Have you ever been in a place on a journey of your life, where you feel like you are doing everything right? I have been feeling like that lately with my weight loss journey. I have been making the best food choices and enjoying them. Drinking the right amount of water, putting great effort into my workouts and then BAM!! Out of nowhere, I start relaxing on my meal disciplines, which allows that voice of self doubt to creep in and get louder. I find that usually happens after there's been so much temptations constantly around me that I just cave in. I think I talk about this quite often. My husband and daughter are "sort of" on a journey of their own except on the weekends and any weeknight that they feel like indulging... This can be the hardest thing to deal with because, it is within the confines of what is supposed to be my "safe haven" my home. This is where I am supposed to feel safe, this is where I am away from the temptations of the outside world and I can make the best choices  possible because that is what is all that is available to me.....RIGHT??  Well not always, yesterday started off as a perfect day. I got up I had breakfast, and later I made us healthier versions of cobb salads (which my husband drenched in dressing :o) for lunch, then we went for a great hike in Roswell. It was wonderful, I came home, had a strawberry shakeology (taste like a strawberry milkshake) then I took a nice hot bath while playing classical music....so relaxing. My husband and daughter went off to pick up dinner while I was in the bath. I was going to have seared ahi tuna with fresh corn on the cobb and they were eating whatever. If they don't want what I am eating then they handle their food not me. I just don't want to deal with the temptation.

 Lately it had been easy to avoid whatever high fat, high sodium nonsense they were putting into their bodies but last night was different. He brought home these thinly sliced brisket from the farmers market, queso, fresh guacamole and corn tortillas....OMG!!! this is one of my favorite foods. Now, it can be a very healthy, light meal if you stick to the right portions but who does that with Mexican food. It's sooooo good. So needless to say I overindulged. I saw his tortilla chips in the pantry and all bets were off at that very moment. I grabbed the guac and queso and went to town. I stuffed my face with chips, queso and guacamole until I was full and then I had 4 corn tacos....one with tuna and 3 with beef and they were amazing. And to top it all off I had some of Miki's Candy.  For some reason he buys her candy and sodas at the farmers market... It's insane, so before bed I ate two of her cookies and cream pocky sticks..I think it's an Asian candy.

So of course today I wake up feeling bad about my choices yesterday and almost a little defeated. I feel defeated because I know I plan to have whatever leftovers there are for lunch. So I am a little worried, does this mean that my flesh has taken back over. I have been in such a good place that the desire to eat what I want hasn't been stronger than my desire to stick to my meal plan and reach my goals...until today. That is usually how it is for me,  I am doing great, until I am not. It always starts the same way too. My giving in to the temptations my husband brings into the house.

Somewhere in this day I have to take some time away to myself and regroup. Pray about it, recommit, talk to my husband and be clear. I will let him know yesterday cannot happen again for a while. He will have to support me better and then I need to lay down exactly what I need to happen this week for me to stay on track. I in no way intend on telling him what he can and cannot eat, but I will let him know if he needs to have something that I may be tempted by, then he needs to eat if outside of the house, get rid of the evidence and don't tell me about it. I need to be clear, I need be firm, I need to be honest about how this makes me feel and how much I need his support. Usually that will buy me just enough time to get my head back on straight, refocused and strong enough to resist the many temptations he sneaks into this house for a few more weeks..